The first on our list is ALIEN. For us, this is the premiere sci-fi/horror movie of all, as well as our favorite of all movies. Chris Rennirt’s article “ALIEN: Remembering a Classic” explains exactly why it’s such a stellar specimen of cinema, and why we never get tired of watching it. The ultimate terror in space, where “no one can hear you scream,” with an alien unlike any before, and a soundtrack to match its otherworldly isolation, makes ALIEN second to none. In the meantime, here’s the original trailer from 1979!
Speaking of extreme danger in isolation, does the planet Earth really get any more like an alien planet than it does in The Thing (1982)? This film takes place in the freezing cold of the Antarctic, with another alien like no other before–a mutating, shapeshifting I-don’t-know-what, from who knows where. The Thing morphs into anything it absorbs, making it a double-difficult to detect, creating tension and paranoia to rival ALIEN. Yes, even the guy who looks like your best friend could be “The Thing.” No matter how many times I see the film, nothing compares to what it delivers, just as powerfully every time!
Stories about demonic possession are on a short list of subjects that, if done well enough, scare the $#&t out of us. The Exorcist is most certainly a movie that is done more than well enough. It’s another of only a few that creeps us out just as much every time we see it. As for demonic possession, with all its scares, holy water, vomit, and head spinning, The Exorcist gets a full, ten-rocket launch here at Space Jockey Reviews!
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is not only a cult classic, it’s also the story wherein lives one of the most famous of all human movie monsters–Leatherface! First, there’s nothing quite like the evil that emanates from a monster that is truly human (at least in its pure, corporeal form), especially when the behavior we consider human has long since left the body. Leatherface is the ultimate human monster and, quite possibly, the ultimate monster of any sort. He holds first place with me, because he is based–loosely but certainly–on a real person who did things that were actually worse that what Leatherface did in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. (Believe it or not, it’s true!) In our opinion, they don’t get creepier and scarier than that! For a list of what the real Leatherface (Ed Gein) really did, check out Chris Rennirt’s article “The Scariest Movie Monster,” right here on Space Jockey Reviews!
Who cannot remember where they were and what they were doing the first time they saw Pinhead speaking those famous words, “I’ll tear your soul apart!”? Yes, Pinhead has been, for decades since the release of Hellraiser, an undisputed icon of horror cinema. At a time when about every monster had been done or redone, along came the nail-studded demon from the depths of Hell, with his torture-hungry band of cenobitic minions–The Chatterer, Butterball, and the one only known as “The Female Cenobite.” What’s more is that all of these new creatures terrorized fans in a story just as unique, featuring a musical puzzle box to amaze even Dante. Yes! Clive Barker’s Hellraiser set the bar for horror cinema higher in 1987 than most people thought possible. Until the next bar-breaker, “No tears, please. It’s a waste of good suffering.” ~ Pinhead
“A talking head? Get a job in a sideshow!” Who would have guessed, after hearing Herbert West speak those famous words, that Re-Animator would take its place so quickly in the best of cult horror? We were never surprised. Re-Animator had all the makings of not only a cult classic, but also the best in dark-humor horror. Over-the-top violence and gore, with a healthy dose of tongue-in-cheek laughs, was just the prescription needed to fill the gap left so long. The scene with Megan Halsey on the gurney naked, with Dr. Hill’s head moving in, is enough to make Re-Animator a classic well-worthy of repeated viewings, truly putting it “a head” above the rest!
Whenever we think of the movie From Dusk Till Dawn, the names Salma Hayek and Santanico Pandemonium come to mind, immediately, along with a vision of Salma playing, or rather dancing the part. What warm-blooded male with a pulse can forget the sight of this serpent-draped siren from Hell, barefoot, in a feathered headdress and bikini? Who can forget her writhing and rolling with the rhythm, dancing like a snake herself, only to captivate us before the kill? Even the undead come alive in her presence, ready to die again for but another glimpse of her beauty! Normally we’d say it’s overkill to talk so much about a bikini-clad babe in a horror film, but not this time! Normally they come a dime a dozen…but not Salma; she’s one in a million! Salma Hayak as Santanico Pandemonium has masses of minions who’d pass up no chance to grovel at her feet and see her dance again and again! (And how Ritchie really loves her feet!) Oh yeah, did we mention the movie? It’s really good too!
The Decent is, quite simply, one of the scariest movies we’ve ever seen. It easily takes and holds its place in our top ten list of all-time favorites. The atmosphere, generated slowly, brooding throughout, is enough to keep us on edge every time we watch it–even though we already know what’s going to happen! We’ve always liked movies that put characters (especially those otherwise confident and self-sufficient) in dangerous situations and make them as vulnerable as the smallest of insects we step on every day. The Decent goes the ultimate step further by placing characters in total isolation, away from help of any kind, making them easy prey–dead with the slightest of errors or the best of strategies played out. Better yet, no one can escape; so, staying in danger doesn’t make them stupid-character clichés. Topping it off are monsters as fresh as any we’ve seen since–“The Crawlers.” The Decent was (and still is) groundbreaking horror. It easily plays on our primal fears, invading the safe places of our minds, awaking within us, hidden phobias. In The Descent, you forget where you are, at home on your sofa. In the caves of The Crawlers, you feel the fear!
What could be better than Ash, a chainsaw, and the undead ghouls of the Necromicon Ex Mortis? With the originator of “Cabin in the Woods” horror tropes, it’s Evil Dead! As the ultimate in tongue-in-check dark-humor horror, this one is too much fun, no matter how many times we see it! Conjure up those Kandarian demons, Deadites, and possessed tree roots one more time, please! Groovy!
Martyrs is, in our opinion, the ultimate vicarious experience in extreme body horror, pain, suffering, sadism and masochism. Overflowing with violence, blood, mutilation and torture, it is none of that for the pure sake of being so. Surprisingly intelligent, abstract and visceral, it explores the existential limits in a forced human journey to transformative realities, both spiritual and corporeal. Despite its extreme-horror content, Martyrs has more depth and meaning than a dozen easily forgotten horror films with half the violence. Instead, it’s one you will remember for better or worse! However, due to this movie’s extreme, graphic violence, it is not one we can recommend generally, as it is clearly not for everyone! Viewer discretion is greatly advised!
Dead Snow has Nazi zombies! Need we say more? No, but we will. Even with the usual horror tropes and clichés, Third Reich Zombies make this one original in its own way, and a whole lot of fun even with repeat viewings! Never have zombies been put in a more relevant historical context, with the original humans they were just as monstrous! Perfect!
