Review by Chris Rennirt

Dr. Zack Straker (Scott Bairstow), a systems analyst, designs high-tech gadgets and software for survival in extreme environments–the coldest to the hottest places on the planet.  A “site call out” has him on his way, suddenly, to a remote mining operation in southwest Africa.  Little does Zack know, but this assignment, away from the safety of his lab, will be more life-threatening and horrific than he (or anyone else) could ever imagine.  The Bone Snatcher, a creature of African folklore and ancient tribal terror, will pose, perhaps, his greatest challenge…along with, as a prize, an opportunity to say, “I think I could learn to like this body-warmth kind of thing,” to a beautiful woman who says, with frustration, “Around here, we don’t get much beyond the screwing stage.”

As for the horror no one could imagine, it is tens of millions of years older than us, and now it needs our bones!  And, better yet, it’s based on an African myth, giving it a natural ambiance of richness, history, and mystery.  Of course, revealing what “they” are would be far too much of a spoiler, so I won’t do it.  All I’ll say is something simple, accurate and intriguing: The Bone Snatcher, for what it lacks in story, execution, and sometimes acting, it makes up for with the originality of its feature creature.  Even if the monster and what it does makes no sense (and it mostly doesn’t), I’ve never seen another like it.  Lost is an opportunity to explore the greater depths and richness of tribal mystery and myth (if there is any depth or true mythology about it).  While I wanted to know more about the Takalosh and Isikula mythology, I’m not sure there is any to begin with.  At first, I thought these were creatures from real African folklore (with talismans and a shaman added); but, after searching the internet and after finding nothing about them, I suspect they are fiction only for the film.  (If anyone knows otherwise, please say so in the comment section below.)  In any case, either from real folklore or film fiction, more could have been done to flesh out or “bone in” a most original monster.  As Titus (Patrick Shai) cryptically says, “It’s their mother.  She was the first…and she will be the last.  She takes what belongs to her—the animals, the people, and she drains the life from their bones.  In this way, she lives forever.”

The Bone Snatcher gets off to a B-movie start with opening titles that are of the cheap, do-it-yourself type, lowering expectations from the beginning.  But, is it a B-movie thereafter?  Yes and no.  Acting is uneven, although what it lacks is mostly beyond actor control.  Mostly, it seems the result of bland and/or corny dialogue from a badly-written script.  With such shortcomings, the actors don’t stand much of chance.  However, in scenes with better lines to deliver, they reveal that they are, in fact capable, and far from B-grade performers.  Acting is also uneven in the way so many of the bad lines are in the movie’s beginning.  With the action to come, the actors have more scenarios to work with, to show emotion, and truly perform.  I felt like I was watching lesser-skilled doppelgangers for the actors in the beginning, replaced by their originals later.  But again, I blame this mostly on the script.

And now, more about the “beautiful woman” frustrated about not getting much beyond the “screwing stage.”  What would a low-budget, adventure/horror combo be without the anomalous, aesthetically-pleasing woman, in kaki clothes (eventually down to a low-cut tank top) and a sexy accent to match?  Along with the men (and a rough-talking woman with looks to match), she’s there, standing out in every scene, like an oasis in the movie’s actual dessert location.  Mikki (Rachel Shelley) is that woman…and, for a movie with little else going for it, her titillating presence is essential.  To be honest, I couldn’t have finished the movie without her.  Yes…I must admit that being a male with a normal hormone level and libido helps keep The Bone Snatcher a solid experience more often than it might be otherwise.  Since I know Ms. Shelley was meant to provide such a show-saving presence (and since she provided it so well), this review would be remiss not to point it out.  And of course, more than mere eye candy for a deficient film, her acting ability matches her beauty–a great compliment to her in the most honest, comprehensive way.

But, is the eventual better acting (and Rachel Shelley) enough to save the show…for male and female audiences alike?  My answer is no.  While The Bone Snatcher has enough to keep you watching until the end, the end leaves you wanting—wanting lost time as much as something else to complete its husk of potential.  Along with uneven acting and a badly-executed story is minimal on-screen time with the monster.  When seen, the creature is captivating and surreal (actually original and new for horror), but it isn’t seen enough.  Although less is sometimes better, it isn’t here…at least not for me.  After a full hour into the movie, we’ve mostly seen dessert, more dessert, and, other than teasing glimpses of “The Bone Snatcher,” little else.  The first time the creature is seen, a sudden cut from it to the next scene is actually bad editing.  It’s as if something very important was removed from the movie (or accidentally cut), leaving a WTF moment that distracts just when horror finally begins…just when the movie could rise to its occasion.  Honestly, after this scene, I was bored and ready to call it a night (but I didn’t); I was sure that The Bone Snatcher‘s skeleton of a plot had finally collapsed.  But, was I correct?

Before I answer, there’s a plot point (but not a spoiler) that left me scratching my head in the very beginning.  It’s odd that there’s a “site call out for a systems analyst,” but site personnel are anything but welcoming when Zack arrives—and that includes everyone there who could have “called out” for him.  Why would they be such asses to someone they requested and needed?  What first seemed intriguing with its possibilities quickly became only a weak point in the story, since nothing was done to explain it.  Perhaps someone from central office sent him, and the field office doesn’t want him poking around?  Perhaps they have secret, experimental things they don’t want him to discover?  No.  Not a chance.  (If only I had written the script.)  They’re just asses who ask for his help and then treat him like crap when he arrives.  Hmmm.

Otherwise, the movie does something right that many movies of its kind do wrong: It doesn’t have dumb characters doing dumb things solely to advance the plot and body count.  Once they are in the dessert, they are.at the mercy of the elements, nature, and the monster, and stupid behavior is never used to keep them in peril.  Only the folly of human stubbornness to do what is right (with personal conviction) is responsible…such as it is in life.  If only characters in horror could more often imitate characters in life, minus the stupidity.

DVD QUALITY

The Bone Snatcher‘s First Look Limited Edition Steelbook DVD image is bluray quality, with deep color saturation and no digital noise.  I don’t believe that a bluray could have looked any better.  It’s possibly the best DVD transfer I’ve ever seen.  It’s only ashamed that the movie itself didn’t meet the same higher standard.

An inferior Anchor Bay release of the movie also exists.  On this one, the image is darker, in a different aspect ratio, and significantly zoomed, often putting characters halfway off the side of the screen.  Compared to the Steelbook edition with the full image visible, Anchor Bay’s appears to be cropped nearly 20%.  So, if you plan to purchase The Bone Snatcher, the better choice is obvious.

FAVORITE QUOTES

“So, you’re going to tell me he ran 30, 40 clicks then died, then got eaten clean?  Within about nine hours?” ~ Karl

“When we started, there were two feet.  But now there’s four here.” ~ Titus

“I think I could learn to like this body-warmth kind of thing.” ~ Zack to Mikki

“Around here, we don’t get much beyond the screwing stage.” ~ Mikki

“It’s their mother.  She was the first…and she will be the last.  She takes what belongs to her—the animals, the people, and she drains the life from their bones.  In this way, she lives forever.” ~ Titus

“Bones that walk and flesh that disappears.  You call it what you want.  We call it Isikulu.” ~ Titus

“We might look like clowns…but believe it or not, we know what we’re doing.” ~ Magda

CONCLUSION

Back to my last question: Was I correct about The Bone Snatcher‘s broken bones plot and hopeless chances for a recommendation?  Yes.  Sadly, I was correct.  Lacking depth and squandering its potential, even its original ideas were predictable and dead on arrival.  I struggled and stretched the limits of my scorecard to even give it four rockets.  If not for the pulchritude of Ms. Shelley (along with a reference-quality DVD transfer and original monster), I would have been angry that I spent 90 minutes watching it and a few bucks buying it.  While The Bone Snatcher snatched my time and money, it could have been a lot worse.  Thank goodness for Ms. Shelley!

Chris Rennirt (the author of this review) is a movie critic and writer in Louisville, Kentucky, as well as editor in chief at Space Jockey Reviews.  He has been a judge at many film festivals, including Macabre Faire Film Festival and Crimson Screen Film Fest, and he attends horror and sci-fi conventions often.  Chris’ movie reviews, articles, and interviews are published regularly on Space Jockey Reviews and in Effective Magazine.  His mission statement (describing his goals as a movie critic and philosophy for review writing) can be found on the “Mission” page, here at SJR.  For more information about Chris Rennirt (including contact details, publicity photos, and more), click here.

You may also like these!