The first on my list is ALIEN. For me, this is the premiere sci-fi/horror movie of all, as well as my favorite of all movies. My article “ALIEN: Remembering a Classic” explains exactly why it’s such a stellar specimen of cinema for me, and why I never get tired of watching it. The ultimate terror in space, where “no one can hear you scream,” with an alien unlike any before, and a soundtrack to match its otherworldly isolation, makes ALIEN second to none. In the meantime, here’s the original trailer from 1979!
Speaking of extreme danger in isolation, does the planet Earth really get any more like an alien planet than it does in The Thing (1982)? This film takes place in the freezing cold of the Antarctic, with another alien like no other before–a mutating, shape-shifting I-don’t-know-what, from who knows where. The Thing morphs into anything it absorbs, making it a double-difficult to detect, creating tension and paranoia to rival ALIEN. Yes, even the guy who looks like your best friend could be “The Thing.” No matter how many times I see the film, nothing compares to what it delivers, just as powerfully every time!
Stories about demonic possession are on a short list of subjects that, if done well enough, scare the $#&t out of me. The Exorcist is most certainly a movie that is done more than well enough. It’s another of only a few that creeps me out just as much every time I see it. As for demonic possession, with all its scares, holy water, vomit, and head spinning, The Exorcist gets a full, ten-rocket launch here at Space Jockey Reviews!
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is not only a cult classic, it’s also the story wherein lives one of the most famous of all human movie monsters–Leatherface! First, there’s nothing quite like the evil that emanates from a monster that is truly human (at least in its pure, corporeal form), especially when the behavior we consider human has long since left the body. Leatherface is the ultimate human monster and, quite possibly, the ultimate monster of any sort. He holds first place with me, because he is based–loosely but certainly–on a real person who did things that were actually worse that what Leatherface did in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. (Believe it or not, it’s true!) In my opinion, they don’t get more creepy and scary than that! For a list of what the real Leatherface (Ed Gein) really did, check out my article “The Scariest Movie Monster,” right here on Space Jockey Reviews!
Who cannot remember where they were and what they were doing the first they saw Pinhead speaking those famous words, “I’ll tear your soul apart!”? Yes, Pinhead has been, for decades since the release of Hellraiser, an undisputed icon of horror cinema. At a time when about every monster had been done or redone, along came the nail-studded demon from the depths of Hell, with his torture-hungry band of cenobitic minions–The Chatterer, Butterball, and the one only known as “The Female Cenobite.” What’s more is that all of these new creatures terrorized fans in a story just as unique, featuring a musical puzzle box to amaze even Dante. Yes! Clive Barker’s Hellraiser set the bar for horror cinema higher, in 1987, than most people thought possible. Until the next bar-breaker, “No tears, please. It’s a waste of good suffering.” ~ Pinhead
“A talking head? Get a job in a sideshow!” Who would have guessed, after hearing Herbert West speak those famous words, that Re-Animator would take it’s place so quickly in the best of cult horror? I was never surprised. Re-Animator had all the makings of not only a cult classic, but also the best in dark-humor horror. Over-the-top violence and gore, with a healthy dose of tongue-in-cheek laughs, was just the prescription needed to fill the gap left so long. The scene with Megan Halsey on the gurney, with Dr. Hill’s head moving in, is enough to make Re-Animator a classic well-worthy of repeated viewings!
Whenever we think of the movie From Dusk Till Dawn, the names Salma Hayek and Santanico Pandemonium come to mind, immediately, along with a vision of Salma playing, or rather dancing the part. What warm-blooded male with a pulse can forget the sight of this serpent-draped siren from Hell, barefoot, in a feathered headdress and bikini? Who can forget her writhing and rolling with the rhythm, dancing like a snake herself, only to captivate us before the kill? Even the undead come alive in her presence, ready to die again for but another glimpse of her beauty! Normally, we’d say it’s overkill to talk so much about a bikini-clad babe in a horror film, but not this time! Normally, they come a dime a dozen…but not Salma; she’s one in a million million! Yes, Salma Hayak as Santanico Pandemonium deserves all of this paragraph and more. She’s earned it from the masses of minions who’d pass up no chance to grovel at her feet and see her dance again and again…and again! (And how Ritchie really loves her feet!) Oh yeah, did I mention the movie? It’s really good too!
The Decent is, quite simply, one of the scariest movies I’ve ever seen. It easily takes and holds its place in my top-ten list of all-time favorites. The atmosphere, generated slowly, and brooding throughout, is enough to keep me on edge every time I watch it–even though I already know what’s going to happen! I’ve always liked movies that put characters (especially those otherwise confident and self-sufficient) in dangerous situations and make them as vulnerable as the smallest of insects we step on every day. The Decent goes the ultimate step further by placing characters in total isolation, away from all sources of outside help, making them easy prey–dead with the slightest of errors or the best of strategies played out. Better yet, no one can escape; so, staying in danger doesn’t make them stupid-character clichés. Topping it off are monsters as fresh as any I’ve seen since–“The Crawlers.” The Decent was (and still is) groundbreaking horror. It easily plays on our primal fears, invading the safe places of our minds, awaking within us, hidden phobias. In The Descent, you forget where you are, at home on your sofa. In the caves of The Crawlers…you feel the fear!
What could be better than Ash, a chainsaw, and the undead ghouls of the Necromicon Ex Mortis? Yes! With the originator of “Cabin in the Woods” horror tropes, it’s Evil Dead! An ultimate in tongue-in-check dark-humor horror, this one is just too much fun, no matter how many times I see it! Conjure up those Kandarian demons, Deadites, and possessed tree roots one more time…please! Groovy!
Martyrs is, in my opinion, the ultimate vicarious experience in extreme body horror, pain, suffering, sadism and masochism. Overflowing with violence, blood, mutilation and torture, it is none of that for the pure sake of being so. Surprisingly intelligent, abstract and visceral, it explores the existential limits in the forced human journey to transformative realities, both spiritual and corporeal. Despite its extreme-horror content, Martyrs has more depth and meaning than a dozen easily-forgotten horror films with half the violence. Instead, it’s is one you will remember…for better or worse! HOWEVER, due to this movie’s extreme, graphic violence, it is NOT one I can recommend generally, as it is clearly NOT for everyone! Viewer discretion is greatly advised!
Dead Snow has Nazi zombies! Need I say more? NO, but I will. Even with the usual horror tropes and clichés, Third Reich Zombies make this one original in its own way, and a whole lot of fun…even with repeat viewings!
