Okay all you seekers of extraterrestrial entertainment, here’s a surely-sensational script penned (or typed) by the one and only Rocko Jerome!  Yes, a star of the soon-to-be-released Billy Inaction wrote a script for a prequel, focused on the ever-alluring butt-kicking babe herself, Miss Kitka–played by none other than Theresa Plappert! Femme fatales of espionage and intrigue simply get no better; and the “need to know” about such mavens of mystery gets no higher. As Space Jockey Reveiws ventures forward, through light years of yet-unknown entertainment, it sees Rocko’s script on a big screen somewhere, sure enough, no matter where that dimension may be–here, there, or someplace in between. So, without further altitudes of adulation, I’ll let Rocko (and his script) speak for themselves, in their own words, below! Enjoy! 😀

An Unproduced Billy Inaction Prequel?

“As you might’ve heard, Billy Inaction took a long time to produce. In that time and in between the shooting of my handful scenes, my imagination ran wild. Mainly I considered my own character, but three years is a long time. After we shot the fight scene that Theresa and I choreographed, it occurred to me how much fun it might be to explore her character in a separate story, not played for laughs.

I’ve always loved an action girl, the kind who can best men in combat and look beautiful, strong, and capable doing it. Basically, Theresa is our own Zoe Bell. Up for anything. That is, until Jimmy had her running around in that uncomfortable plastic suit and eye patch for three years.

This story would involve a somewhat younger Kitka, not quite so hardened and super heroic. She begins the story with both eyes, and would wear Mod style jumpsuits made of cloth, not plastic or leather. Even though the script I wrote wouldn’t involve the most uncomfortable aspects, Tee’s now very busy with school and she and Jimmy are both a bit burnt out on the concept. Totally understandable, but my ego won’t let this script remain unseen.

I imagined this in black and white with actors speaking in Russian. All English would be in subtitles. I wanted to create something with a tone in between Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy and Haywire, then recently I was reminded of the concept by FX’s great new show, The Americans.

So without further ado:”

устройство (The Device)

THE CAST

KITKA, who we know, although she’s younger here. No eye patch, no plastic suit, yet. A little rougher around the edges.

GORKY, a man in his 50s. He either looks like he’s let himself go quite a bit or like he’s kept tight as a drum all of his adult life depending on what we can get.

CONTACT, a man in his 30s. Slim and impeccably dressed. Wears glasses.

HORRORSHOW, a big, mean bastard.

——-
Inside of an office.

Camera starts on an empty chair. GORKY moves into the picture carrying a briefcase, which he carefully places by the chair and sits down. The camera pans around, CONTACT sits on the other side of the desk. His look is of relaxed confidence. On the desk is a bottle of cognac, 2 glasses.

GORKY– If your intention was to drink with me as if we’re old friends, you are mistaken.

CONTACT– Is that so?

GORKY– It is so.

CONTACT– You must forgive me then, Colonel Gorky. Your reputation has proceeded you, you see, and I felt we might have reason to celebrate.

GORKY says nothing, but his eyes burn with hatred. CONTACT pulls open a drawer of the desk, places the bottle inside. We see he has a pistol inside, ready to be fired.

CONTACT– I’m not familiar with all of the jargon, but this is the point at which we debrief the mission, is it not?

GORKY– I have brought you the device and you will compensate me, that is the extent of our interaction.

CONTACT‘s eyes narrow

CONTACT: What kind of cruel web did you weave, Gorky?

———
FLASHBACK– We’re in a park, we see Gorky sits at a bench, from the side. KITKA walks into the frame. They don’t look at each other. Gorky wears a plain suit and heavy coat. Kitka wears all black. A coat, leather riding boots, gloves and black sunglasses.

KITKA– How did you know that I wouldn’t kill you?

GORKY– I didn’t.

KITKA– You lie, as always.

GORKY– Do you know why I sent for you?

KITKA– I know of only one reason that you would.

GORKY– Do you know where it is?

KITKA– Do you?

GORKY– Yes.

KITKA– Who wants it?

GORKY– The Prime Mover.

KITKA– What? You run errands for The Prime Mover now? From the Kremlin to this.

GORKY– (Looking at KITKA for the first time) Had The Prime Mover controlled the Kremlin, it would have been Reagan coming to us with his hat in hand.

KITKA– Do not pretend to understand his intentions.Had The Prime Mover had his way, the earth might now be an irradiated and burnt ember.

GORKY– Perhaps. But would that be so bad? Would it be worse than the fate we suffer now?

KITKA– The USSR failed us, Gorky. Why should everyone suffer?

GORKY– Have you forgotten who killed Ivan?

KITKA doesn’t answer.

GORKY– The Device is in Location 49.

KITKA– Horrorshow?

GORKY– Horrorshow.

KITKA turns and strides away purposefully

GORKY (to himself)- We are all messengers of the the Prime Mover…

——————————

Location 49 could be a number of things. It could be a home, it could be a warehouse, depending on what we can get. It is the place where Horrorshow is, and it’s the place where The Device is. Kitka goes there dressed like Emma Peel, fights a bunch of people, kills a bunch of people, has a final boss battle with Horrorshow, kills him. Leaves with the Device. This is where we’ll really have fun.

—————————–

We’re in Kitka’s home. She’s stepping out of the shower, seems to sense something. Wraps a towel around herself, grabs a weapon from her medicine cabinet, throws open the bathroom door to find GORKY there. She levels her pistol directly at him. He raises his arms.

KITKA: You have nerve, Gorky.

GORKY: Time is short, Kitka.

KITKA: Oh? Has it not been 50 years already? Many have died for that infernal device.

GORKY: And none shall ever again.

KITKA: What do you mean?

GORKY: I mean that I am destroying it, the Prime Mover can go to hell.

KITKA: So you’ve decided to-

GORKY: I will take the device and destroy it, and then I shall take my own life. It will all end here.

KITKA: And they will come for me.

GORKY: No. That’s not how it works, you know that.

KITKA: Then why don’t I kill you and destroy the damn thing myself?

GORKY: Because you’re not a fool?

KITKA: Not as much as you. It’s on the dresser. Take it and never come back.

GORKY: I hope killing Horrorshow brought you peace.

GORKY takes the Device, which is in the briefcase we saw earlier, and turns to leave. Only then does Kitka lower her gun. Then, GORKY spins around as he pulls a gun from his coat and shoots KITKA in the face. She falls to the floor, we see that she’s been shot through the eye. She looks quite dead.

——–
WE RETURN TO THE PRESENT, IN THE OFFICE. Gorky places the Device on the desk, The Contact turns it around, opens it, looks pleased, closes it.

THE CONTACT: Good work, Colonel. Very good. Misha will be released this afternoon, she will be waiting for you when you return home. She has not been harmed. You can see yourself out, I trust.

GORKY: (stands, walks to the door, turns) How long have you worked for The Prime Mover?

CONTACT: (not looking up from the desk) Same as you. All of my life. Even when I believed I did not, I know now that I always have. (looks up at Gorky. Smiles).

—-
GORKY walks down the street. He comes to the gate of his home, unlocks it. He’s most of his way to his house when suddenly, a silenced shot. GORKY’s face goes blank, he falls to his knees.

We see KITKA at a distant location, in front of an open window. Brings down a sniper rifle, her one good eye was at the scope.

GORKY‘s face is still blank, blood begins to run from his mouth. He fumbles inside of his coat for something. In the background, we see KITKA walk up slowly and casually until she is standing beside him, looking down. The audience should be lead to believe that he’s about to produce a weapon, but KITKA doesn’t see it.

KITKA: I have 7 lives left now, Gorky. You hardly ever had one.

GORKY‘s face contorts, he falls over dead. In his hand we see that he was carrying a photograph. KITKA picks it up, once we see it in her hand we see that it’s a photograph of her as a little girl. She lights it on fire with a lighter, drops it on the ground. A shot of her face full of sadness, the camera tracks with her as she walks away. In the background, we see a woman open the door to the home, begin crying, and kneel down by GORKY. KITKA‘s sadness turns to steel.

CUT TO BLACK

Rocko Jerome may be contacted directly at rockojerome@gmail.com

Also, don’t miss Rocko’s Interview here on Space Jockey Reviews!

Could we resist a Billy Inaction trailer featuring scenes of Miss Kitka in her shiny butt-kicking suit? Of course not!

Finally, let’s check out that Billy Inaction trailer one more time! (At least for yet another good look at Miss Kitka! :D)

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